I was running around in the office, my advertising agency office.
My heart beats so furiously - at the same pace of my brain being bombarded with problems upon problems: juggling campaigns, rushing FAs, attending training, etc etc etc.
I was with one of the copywriter, a friend (J) who noticed something weird.
J: Dude, kau macam tak ok.
J: Muka kau biru.
I ignored him, and started running back to the main meeting room, to continue the training with my fellow group mates. And one of the mates (R), dah mula perasaan that something was really wrong with me.
R: Shuk, are you okay?
Me: Just having a weird headache.
R: Shuk. Muka you pucat. Pucat sangat.
And that was it. I felt it coming straight to my head. Straight to my lungs and fragile heart.
I can't breathe. My mind went hay-wire. All of the problems seem to be conjugated, creating a huge barrier that blocked my heart and lungs.
I was gasping for air.
That was the first time I collapsed because of work burden and depression.
I will not let this happen again. I will be happy. Let's change our life to a better, passionate life.
People will call me coward for leaving the industry. I love Advertising. But I don't see myself happy doing it any more. I don't need to sacrifice my happiness for my bosses, for my clients, for my colleagues. I don't owe them anything, any more.