Beratnya Beban Seorang Manusia.

Bila kita berbicara mengenai hati dan perasaan, seberat mana pun hati kita berusaha dan berupaya untuk perah segalanya demi tuhan yang satu - nafsu dan perasaan sentiasa menghantui sebagai seorang manusia biasa. Manusia dikurniakan hati dan perasaan. Sentiasa berfikir, sentiasa merasai. Kita terasa, kita terusik, kita terhampar dengan pelbagai fikiran yang datang dari kisah dan pengalaman silam, dari environment kita, dari orang-orang di sekeliling kita. Setiap manusia punya aura yang mampu tersebar dan mempengaruhi orang lain. Antara faktor yang meninggikan our influence towards other people are: Pengalaman, Usia, dan Status.

Pengalaman:

Pengalaman adalah bersifat personal. Sentiasa kerana manusia punya sepasang mata, fikiran dan perasaan yang istimewa, khas untuk dirinya sendiri. Apa ynag dimata saya mungkin berlainan di mata anda. Saya lihat dia penuh rasa intim kerana saya rasa cinta, kamu mungkin lihat dia dengan rasa benci kerasa kamu rasa keburukan. Namun manusia juga bersifat assabiyah, berkumpulan dan mudah untuk berkongsi perasaan yang mutual dan saksama. Semakin tinggi kita rasa pengalaman seseorang itu, naturally kita rasa hormat pada dia. Semakin hormat, semakin kita mempercayai diri empunya pengalaman. Namun selagi bernama manusia, selagi itu ada yang tamak, ada yang mahukan kuasa dan perhatian. Pengalaman dijadikan alat untuk menagih hormat, menagih perhatian kepada mereka yang menagih pengalaman. Bagaimana para motivators promote program mereka? Melalui pengalaman. Kita lihat sendiri visual promotion di bawah:

Founder of Marketing Power Concept. No. 1 Success Coach in Malaysia. These are all selling his pengalaman and success. How many of the participants actually asked what is Marketing Power Concept and what is No.1 Success Coach in Malaysia? Run a little research but we can't really find what this really means. But it creates confident feelings among people. 

Selling pengalaman works. That's why most motivational talks work. But the most important thing in believing pengalaman is: Pengalaman mestilah dengan integriti dan how close is the pengalaman with your life stories, The closer is gets the better the experience that you will receive listening to these people. But here's the catch; your life and the 'Pengalaman Guy' life is different and will never be the same. We can take the best lesson from him, but the way you apply these lessons in your life are based on your current life situations. 

To be continued for the other 2 factors;Usia dan Status.

The Thousand Caves (Mount Mulu & Mount Api)

Seribu kamar menanti.

Buat mereka yang abadikan kegelapan.

Dari kiri kanan Gunung Api,

Dari atas bawah Gunung Mulu,

Buat mereka yang ingin lari dari cahaya,

Melangkah ke seribu kamar Mulu.

Dan indahnya kegelapan kau saksi.

Sebelum Segalanya Hilang

Laungkan kata semangat kerana cinta yang hangat,
Apabila kisah kita hanya tinggal berita,
Aku tinggalkan segala-galanya demi cinta.

Kerana aku tahu aku tidak sempurna ilmu,
Tidak sempurna serba segalanya,
Hanya membawa hati yang hilang.

Yang sesat membawa rindu yang malang,
Indah sekejap tapi sakit selamanya.

Selamanya seperti tergantungnya nyawa,
Antara Syurga dan Neraka.

Dimana kamu?
Aku disini, berdiri mencari cahaya.
Di atas puncak, aku terus sesat.

Dimana kamu?
Aku masih disini, menanti.
Kerana aku tahu aku ikhlas.

Dimana kamu?
Sudah terlambat, sayang.
Kerana aku hilang selamanya.

Dimana kamu?
........................

Dimana?

Hymm.

.

Corriendo es Spiritu

After finishing the 30km Merapoh Forest Run 2015 for Male Open Category.

I started running 3 year ago (almost), and I never really stop since then.
I remember my first run -  on the road heading to the Great Eastern Mall from my house. I never got comfortable running in a park or on a treadmill in a gym - mainly because of there are too much people and activities flocking into those places. Other than photography and writing (and annoy my girlfriend), I do not have other hobbies back then. In the spirit of trying new things, I decided to run. Putting on my training shoes, walk to the front gate, and off I go, heading towards Ampang through Jalan Ampang, from Jelatek. I do not do much research on how to run the right way, so the moment my feet hit the tarmac, pain strikes right to my legs, knees, hip and eventually causing exhaustion to my body.  But there was a strange feeling that I felt, the feeling that made me want to run again. The feeling as if your body are communicating with you and the constant battle that you feel between your mind and your body. I ran 1.5km that day before i hit the wall.

Running was part of my life since then. I continue running and try my best to run faster and longer. My running passion has evolved when I started to hike on mountains and hills.

"The Mountains are calling and I must go."  One of the reasons why I wake up so early in the morning on weekends and holidays - to run on a hill or a mountain. Why embrace the pain when you can just stay at home, or just chill in a mall or coffee shops? The answer is easy - to feel and remind myself to be human again.

3 years ago, my weight was 79 kilograms. After 3 years of running, hiking, climbing and all sorts of outdoor activities and adventures, I stand on the ground with a weight of 65 kilograms. Never in my life I have inflicted pain (indirectly) to myself to discover the limit of my body.

One thing for sure Insyaallah, I will continue running and embrace adventures. To feel human, in this disastrous 'civilized' world.

In the past 3 years, I have changed, or more like evolved, into this.

Next post will be the running story.

4 life changing moments for me:

1. You
2. Running
3. Hiking
4. Climbing

Embracing adventures (including moment number 1) changed my life forever.

Nature is amazing, our body is amazing, love...is amazing. That's what I've learned from all those 4 moments.

Travel more. Embrace Adventures.

Puisi Kasar untuk Pemimpin Kasar.

Kau perbodohkan rakyat,
Dengan kebodohan sendiri,
Tunggu sampai kau jadi mayat,
Tengok mana kau nak lari.

Bila kau ingat kau raja,
Kau lupa atas kau tuhan,
Kau berlagak bersahaja,
Tapi tidur kau keresahan.

Jika semua runtuh,
Kau tunggu kami cari,
Walau daun hijau sudah luruh,
Kau kami gantung sampai mati.

Aku angkat jasad kerasmu,
Pelukmu erat dalam dakapanku,
Mata hitammu merenung aku,
Air mataku jatuh ke badanmu.

Kecewa kerana tidak bersamamu,
Ketika kau dalam diam menahan sakit,
Ketika aku tidak mampu melihat,
Saat mengharap kau berlari ke arahku.

Habis hatiku luluh,
Pelukmu erat dalam tanganku,
Aku berjalan ke arah pohon buluh,
Dimana ke tanah aku lepaskanmu.

Dalam dakapan PencintaMu, sayang.
Lenalah kau dalam ciuman PencintaMu, sayang.
Bahagialah kau dalam pelukan Malaikat, sayang.
Kerana tangan aku tidak mampu lagi mengusapmu.

Fighting depression is harder than I thought it will be.
Surviving is a different story altogether.

Your head is spinning, your eyes are heavy.
Your body is standing there, but your mind are closing in.

And at the end of the day, your body feels like it just fell down from a mountain.

Satu Hayat Gunung

Epilog

Aku mencari cinta ketika manusia sibuk mengejar harta. Apabila manusia lebih takutkan hujan daripada syaitan dan nafsu. Bila segalanya memerlukan wang, antagonis gemuk bertopengkan pemimpin menyeret manusia ke lembah kehinaan. Lembah persembahan 'seni' hiburan. Apabila bergambar bersama bibir terjuih dianggap seni paling mantap. Apabila manusia sanggup berbogel demi nilai yang dicipta sendiri oleh manusia. Tersembunyi di sebalik nilai ajaib di dalam peti-peti mesin ATM.

Akulah manusia itu. Pagi aku keluar mencari duit, malam aku pulang menjadi hamba internet dan katil. Estasi rutin ini membuat aku resah gelisah sentiasa - mengharapkan segalanya akan jadi lebih baik apabila aku terus menerus jadi rajin untuk kepentingan orang lain. Dan ironinya, aku sedar aku menipu diri sendiri, dan tetap juga aku teruskan estasi melampau itu.

Sekarang aku berada di Puncak Gunung Datuk, Negeri Sembilan. Satu saat aku rasa macam raja segala raja. Pada satu ketika aku rasa macam......manusia.

Ini kisah aku sebagai manusia hamba pada hari-hari biasa, tapi manusia raja apabila aku menempuh perjalanan untuk memanjat....Gunung Everest.

"Kau ingat tak dulu bila kita start memanjat, jantung macam nak pecah! Nafas macam nak mati! Kaki.....aku tak rasa dah kaki aku masa tu."

Running the world.

As I sweat, I feel the cool breeze.
As my feets are losing control, I feel euphoric.

I can feel the pain, like stones crushing my shoulders.
Needles going through my bones.
Electricity flying into my heart.
Feel like stepping on shattered glasses.

But my mind is strong, pushing me to the limits.
Pushing me onto a world, where pains are just enemies.
Enemies that can be defeated, by determined minds.

As I run through these roads, these trails, I can feel it.
I am a King.

So, I'm joining the dark side of the force.

And hey, I'm loving it already.

At least this side gives me an opportunity to put my thinking cap on.

Now you can call me Darth Shuk-Ee-Sal.

"A dangerous path you have taken, young sith", "For I shall find you, and kill you.." whispered some of the Jedis out there.

Oh, here's a picture of the other Siths, my companions now:

May the Dark Side guide me always.

Running Spirit.

I can't run fast and long lately, sebab my knee macam sakit.
I can feel my knee screaming, beg me to stop running and go home to my bed sleep or something.

I just realised I'm addicted to this. This whole running spirit. I enjoyed the runner's high.
I realised running is my way to escape. A sense of escapism in life. So I changed my mind-set.
I don't run because I want to be free, to fly with the birds etcetera, etcetera,

But to live. To feel human.

So I left. I left the agency. I left the industry.

Off to another journey. May Allah bless this new adventure.

Bismillahirahmanirrahim.

I wrote a poem for the wonderful people at Lowe and Partners Advertising Agency. Below was what I scribbled in an email to everyone in the office:

"Hi,

I love writing in BM, so here’s a farewell poem for all of you wonderful people:

Lima candra bukannya lama,

Cukup tinggalkan kesan di hati,

Andai takdir untuk kita bersama,

Janji bertemu walau di pentas mimpi.

Eddy and Wan: I know, its lame. But it’s from my heart.

And I think that’s the most important thing to do in our life. To say it from our hearts.

With love,

Shukri Saleh / Little Shuk / Small Shuk / Shukri without the room"

Scrolling down my Facebook wall, my non-Muslim friends have conveyed their uneasiness on some of the things that we are not allowed to do as a Muslim. I understand that the Malay society has actually adopted the culture of 'hentam-menghentam' and 'menghukum' but now I notice something is terribly wrong:

Muslims are now being condemned and labelled because of the things that we should not do. We are being laughed because we defend our set of conducts, our way of life, our deen.

May Allah protect us all.

A new year, a new journey.

2014 meninggalkan kita.

It was a great year greatly accompanied by many devastating events for us Malaysians.

For me? It was as epic as it can get. Sent my first resignation letter for my first job in NagaDDB only to send another after 4 months of working at Lowe and Partner.

It the midst of finding light to my life - I decided to leave the advertising industry, forever if not only for a while. It was a great experience twas an exhausting one. 

2014 was the year I started to run seriously. Started to improve my speed and distance - preparing for the upcoming races. It was the year I started to take a good look at how I consume foods for a healthier life. It was a year of great outdoor adventures - hiking, trail running, rafting, jungle trekking.

Faced life with my love. We dah together for almost 3 years. And my love towards her has never been stronger.

Its the year my sister got pregnant. My first anak buah is now 2 months old! Alhamdulillah.

2015?

New career as a Marketer. Start saving more. Travel more. Learn more. Run more. Love more.

Bismillah.

I'm Not Patriotic

"Maybe your country is only a place you make up in your own mind, something you dream about, and think about. Maybe it is not a place on the map at all, but just a story full of people you meet and places you visit."

Akhirnya, negara kamu hanyalah sebidang tanah yang hasilnya dimamah korporat.

Tidak patriotik, kerana aku ingin keluar.

Tidak patriotik bila apa yang aku inginkan hanyalah pengalaman dan memori.

Apa yang aku sudah buat demi negaraku yang tercinta selain membayar socso dan cukai?

Tiada. Aku selfish begini.

Kerana akhirnya, hanya pengalaman dan memori yang aku dambakan.

Apabila negaraku cuma diisi dengan lambakan fitnah.

Apabila semua orang membenci, mencaci dan menggasari.

Apa yang aku sudah buat demi negaraku yang sebegini?

Tiada. Kerana aku selfish begini.

Pegi mati dengan korporat-korporat jijik.

Row, Row, Row Your Raft!

It's amazing how immerse into the great outdoors one can be.

It all started from simple hikings.

To all those epic hikes.

The emprised waterfall canyoning.

The agonized runs and races.

And yesterday, the cardinal rafting adventure.

The almost 3 hours rafting journey through the river in the dense forest was amazing, with its class 1 to 3 cascades. Fell into the mighty river twice; 1st - from the mighty blow of one of the cascade, 2nd - at the end of the journey when all of us flipped the raft - went floating for a minute or two till the river banks.

Next adventure: Trail Run.

I Don't Owe the Advertising Industry Any More

I was running around in the office, my advertising agency office.
My heart beats so furiously - at the same pace of my brain being bombarded with problems upon problems: juggling campaigns, rushing FAs, attending training, etc etc etc.

I was with one of the copywriter, a friend (J) who noticed something weird.

J: Dude, kau macam tak ok.
Me: ...................................
J: Muka kau biru.

I ignored him, and started running back to the main meeting room, to continue the training with my fellow group mates. And one of the mates (R), dah mula perasaan that something was really wrong with me.

R: Shuk, are you okay?
Me: Just having a weird headache.
R: Shuk. Muka you pucat. Pucat sangat.

And that was it. I felt it coming straight to my head. Straight to my lungs and fragile heart.
I can't breathe. My mind went hay-wire. All of the problems seem to be conjugated, creating a huge barrier that blocked my heart and lungs.

I was gasping for air.

That was the first time I collapsed because of work burden and depression.
I will not let this happen again. I will be happy. Let's change our life to a better, passionate life.
People will call me coward for leaving the industry. I love Advertising. But I don't see myself happy doing it any more. I don't need to sacrifice my happiness for my bosses, for my clients, for my colleagues. I don't owe them anything, any more.